How to know when you need therapy: An interview with our lead therapists
"Do I need therapy?"
We have all asked ourselves this question, the truthful answer is only you know. Therapy is an incredibly large term for so many different ways of managing your mental health.
Psychotherapy can be integrated into your day-to-day life, scheduled weekly with a therapist or involve purposeful social connections and activities.
From traditional talk therapy to innovative approaches like art therapy and mindfulness practices, there's a therapy style that suits YOU.It’s just a case of finding what works for you. Different types of therapy may come under the following examples:
Art Therapy: Express yourself through creativity and let colors tell your story.
Mindfulness Therapy: Discover tranquility in the present moment, cultivating inner peace.
Talk Therapy (Counselling): Share your thoughts and emotions in a safe, non-judgmental space.
Movement Therapy: Connect body and mind, fostering healing through physical expression.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Restructure thought patterns to transform behaviors.
Breathwork Therapy: Harness the breath's power to reduce stress and increase vitality.
Our lead therapists, Emma Varco & Lesley Greenway are here to demystify the rumours and share what therapy can do for you.
Emma Varco Founder & Psychotherapist
Emma is a fully qualified and registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).
Emma is an Integrative psychotherapist with over 14 years experience offering psychotherapy and counselling.
Emma also offers evidence-based, psycho-educational solutions of cognitive behavioural therapy for people suffering with a wide range of common health issues such as low mood and/or anxiety.
1. Hi Emma, when do you think someone should seek therapy?
I believe everyone can benefit from seeking therapy within their lifetime.
It’s not uncommon to feel a little off and/or different depending on life stress or events that can happen to us. Therapy can therefore provide a crucial space to help unpick and understand these life events/stressors. The fact is, we cannot control what life may throw at us and therefore we should feel empowered to seek the appropriate help we may need.
Many have fantastic support networks like friends and family; however, a therapeutic space can provide impartial, non emotive support that puts the individual at the centre, with helpful tools and concepts which can aid the understanding of yourself without the confusion or need to operate within societal norms and or fears of upsetting the people we love and care about.
2. Are there any common symptoms when you start to struggle mentally?
Yes, there can be. This can be a tricky question to answer as presenting issues can differ for some many which also depends on the feelings, triggers and life events that may cause someone to feel unwell or not themselves.
My general rule of thumb to help individuals understand the need for therapy can be based on 6 basic principles that can ascertain the level of contentedness we may wish feel. It can be understood that issues impacting our emotional wellness and how we think and feel about ourselves, others and the world around us, can largely change depending on the life events we experience coupled with the emotional resilience of an individual. This emotional resilience by large is learnt from our role modelling however, character and genetics can also play a part.
“how we think and feel about ourselves, others and the world around us, can change depending on the life events we experience”
Therefore, categorising our experience into specific areas such as; social connectivity (relationships and social connection) meaningful activity (activities that give us purpose) how we move our bodies (exercise) how we fuel our bodies (diet) sleep hygiene (sleep structure, cycle and personal hygiene) and since the Pandemic I have added a 6th principle, connection to nature (green and blue spaces, as we derive from primal instinct) can all contribute to our understanding of personal routine, structure and a sense of self.
We are habitual beings, in which we perform at our best, when we understand and know what is coming next. When our ability to interpret our routine and structures become more difficult or we become stuck within experience that has caused us harm - this is when emotional discourse occurs.
Therefore, working on these key areas within a therapeutic setting as well as offering insight into emotional regulation, can be the very thing that can help us to regain our sense of self and enable us to live life, to its full potential.
In short, when exploring any of the 6 key areas above, if you can recognise a sense of conflict or struggle within any of these areas, mood changes and feeling stuck withing reoccurring life patterns, that you feel unable to change, Psychotherapy could perhaps benefit you.
3. Do I need to have suffered trauma to justify therapy?
Absolutely not! Although therapy can be a space to understand our experiences which often results in understanding traumatic incidences that one may not identify as ‘trauma’ in the first instance.
As a society and culture - our first understanding of ‘trauma’ can be found in war veterans returning home from war, who then went on to experience flashback, hallucination, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event. This was later categorised as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). We still use this diagnostic category today and it is possible to seek specialised treatment for a diagnoses like PTSD, however our understanding of ‘trauma’ has developed drastically.
Trauma within a psychotherapeutic context can be best understood as a terrifying event that has triggered unmanageable feelings, confusion or has an impact on general quality of life. Abusive experiences can lead to trauma however it is important to note ‘abuse’ can be defined by a wide variety of experiences; therefore, it helps to explain why individuals do not identify with their traumatic experiences until after seeking Psychotherapy.
We can experience abuse at any point in our lives, on-going for many years or perhaps a one-off event that has caused fear and/ or confusion. Unhelpful experiences that we have been unable to break away from can also result in trauma and it is possible that this will largely affect our understanding of self, other and the world around us.
That said, any experience that causes distress or confusion and impacts quality of life is warrant of psychotherapeutic support and although one may not interpret this as a direct ‘trauma’ it is likely that connections can be found in an individual’s experiences which can help to understand and make sense of this whether it is or isn’t directly linked to trauma.
4. What happens if I don't like my therapist?
Here at the Well Being Hive, we pride ourselves on a community that can offer choice and variation. We have several other therapist that work here at the Well Being Hive and if the therapist is not a right fit that we are very happy to offer alternative support.
We encourage an open dialogue with our clients where we always respond to feedback and hope that we can make the therapeutic journey as positive as possible. Therapy can feel hard which brings up so many different feeling about being in relationship, therefore it is our job and ethical requirement to make sure out clients always feel heard and listened too.
We always aim to respond to any upset or concerns with your wellbeing in mind.
5. What type of therapy should I have?
There are lots of different types of therapy where I am not able to comment on the benefits of one over the other. Largely it is down to the induvial seeking therapy and the needs they have. This can be ascertained at one of our free initial consultations, where we cover a large theoretical orientation with diverse knowledge and experience to support you the best way we can.
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What book could you not live without?
Road Less Travelled. This was gifted to me by Lesley last year when I needed reminding of importance to navigate the paths, we find difficult to endure.
Who stands out on social media to you?
I Love Mel Robbins and her direct, compassionate voice that offers normalisation to individual experience which also reminds us that we all struggle at times and that this is perfectly OK.
Do you have a go-to resource for your clients?
I love the book- ‘Counselling for Toads’. It a beautifully written book which offers insight into the model Transactional Analysis a powerful tool for understanding and improving relationships. It’s written from the perspective of Toad - from wind in the willows, and it follows his journey as he progresses through a series of counselling sessions with Heron. It therefore provides accessibly insight into what therapy may feel like for some but offered without jargon and overcomplication.
LESLEY GREENWAY Founder & Psychotherapist
Lesley Greenway – is a fully qualified and registered member of the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), as an integrative psychotherapist. Lesley combines psychodynamic, relational and existential approaches when working with individuals and couples. Providing a safe and confidential space where difficulties can be explored in context, and history of where they have come from.
1. Hi Lesley, what usually brings clients to your therapy space?
A question I feel is impossible to answer.
I guess clients come because they are aware their life feels compromised in some way. That perhaps their emotions and feelings are affecting their behaviours of themselves and towards others and they want it to change. The therapy journey helps us unpick and explore our feelings in a safe and contained space. It can be challenging but equally rewarding.
2. Do you expect someone to have a ‘mental illness’ before seeking therapy?
To begin with, I find the term ‘mental illness’ creates a road block for many. The connotations and labelling of mental health conditions can cause damage to your self worth and in turn, the understanding of your thoughts and actions. For instance, someone suffering psychosis may be due to exhaustion & anxiety rather than being ‘mentally ill’ with something such as schizophrenia. At the Hive, our ethos is to offer you support through different therapies, unique to each individual, with an aim to help guide you in making lifestyle changes and taking back control of your mental health.
So the answer would be ‘no’, because realistically, therapy is a process that is not suitable for everyone. Similar to many illness within therapy, there are different treatments for different situations.
That’s not to say therapy isn’t for those with mental health challenges. Some mental health illnesses need specialist care within a setting that can offer access to support when its needed. Private psychotherapy and counselling offers support to individuals and couples who have a capacity to function albeit difficult.
Many return and use the space as a development platform, helping them at key stages of their lives. Like all mental health, every journey is unique. It’s not until you open the door, that you begin to understand what type of support you may need.
3. How quickly does therapy take to have an effect?
Gosh how long or short is a piece of string.
Sometimes things impact many months or years after our therapy when we have moment and it all makes sense. Equally it can be effective immediately for some people. It is such a personal journey there is no script, it can be painful evoking many emotions, and it can also be enlightening and cathartic.
4. What should I do if I know someone who needs therapy, but they don't want it?
Nothing it’s so important that the individual is able to access their own self agency and find what they need. If they are able to talk about their difficulties then maybe help them consider the benefits of not going to going.
5. What do I do if I can't afford therapy?
Speak to your GP and search some local charities that sometimes offer low cost support.
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1. What book could you not live without?
Why Love Matters by Sue Gerhardt. I read it when I started training as a therapist and it was so enlightening. I re read many times and also recommend.
Midnight library by Matt Haig . For me it highlights there is no rights or wrongs on the decisions we make just different outcomes.
2. Who stands out on social media to you?
Unfortunately I don’t really following social media that much. However I am very curious about a lady who lives in Bali @thelynetteallen. She promotes an alternative and holistic health for women.