How To Prioritise Yourself, Guilt Free.
A journal post created by Wellbeing Coach & yoga instructor, Victoria Leigh, based in Cornwall UK.
Find Victoria Leigh on Instagram for truly empowering content.
“Vic, I just want to feel like me again”. I swear to you, every client I’ve ever had, every enquiry call, that’s how it starts.
Hello sweet, how are you? I’m Victoria, I’m a wellness coach and yoga instructor and I’m about to lift the lid on the wellness industries dirty little secret, the one they don’t want you to know: As wellness professionals, we lose ourselves sometimes too.
“As wellness professionals we lose ourselves sometimes too.”
It’s true. You’d think being immersed in health, wellbeing and mindfulness, that we’d have all this ‘self-care’ stuff in hand but let me tell you, it’s easy to let things slip and I sometimes feel like I’ve lost myself along the way too, especially once I crashed into the midlife wall.
Life happens doesn’t it? Quite often when we reach that prime perimenopause period we’re deep into the daily juggle: careers, teenagers, elderly parents, relationships, constant gulit; it's so easy to put ourselves to the back of the queue of priorities and feel like we’ve lost a part of who we used to be.
We were the generation that were told we could have it all - but that can be exhausting sometimes can’t it?
“We were the generation that were told we could have it all - but that can be exhausting sometimes can’t it?”
Somewhere in between burnout and self doubt there is, however, good news: I have some super simple, tried and tested tips to get yourself - and myself - back on track. All of them work, they’re free and they’re not going to take up hours of your day. Best of all I can honestly vouch for all of them.
So these are the simple ways that I get myself back on track when I’m starting to get a bit wild around the eyes:
1) Find Your Stillness.
The biggest misconception about meditation is that you have to clear your mind and sit for hours in an enlightened state. Not true, plus nobody has the time. Meditation is learning to be still while the world rushes on around you. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, focus on your breath. It doesn’t matter if you can hear the kids on YouTube and the dog scratching, just keep coming back to that sensation of thebreath in the body, maybe the rise and fall of the belly or the feeling of the inhale at the nostrils. Give yourself a few minutes here. Aim for 5 at first and see how you feel after.
The key is consistency. A guided meditation is a great place to start. There are lots of free ones online but try and find someone with a voice that doesn’t irritate you!
2) Drink some water.
Seriously, that’s it! Be hydrated. It makes a huge difference to all sorts of things: hormones, heart health, mood, energy, skin, joints, digestion. And don’t glug down big glasses, little sips frequently please - that way your body can absorb it.
“don’t glug down big glasses, little sips frequently”
Gulping down a pint of water because you forgot to drink for a few hours will only result in you weeing it straight out.
3) Move your body.
An oldie but a goodie. You might not want to but you’ll never feel worse for it. Trust me on this one. Starting is the hardest part, so begin with the end in mind. In fact, 2 birds, one stone: combine it with point 4…
4) Get outside.
Nature has a profound impact on our wellbeing. Try and get a 15 minute walk in every day. Come rain or shine. If you can’t manage a walk you could sit outside with your morning coffee, even if you have to wrap up warm. Getting some early morning, and early evening, sunlight in your eyes is a great way to reset your circadian rhythms which is a brilliant kickstart to better sleep.
5) Recharge.
Set aside a little window of time for self reflection and relaxation. I’m a much better partner, parent, friend and coach when I keep a regular schedule of solo time. I like to try and have a little me-vening (an evening just for me) at least twice a month.
“ I’m a much better partner, parent, friend and coach when I keep a regular schedule of solo time.”
Honour yourself in that way too. Journal your thoughts, sip tea, light the posh candle.
None of these tips are groundbreaking. There’s no huge insider secret revealed here. You’ll have heard all this before, and there’s a reason for that: It works. And these are the simplest ways I can think of to start prioritising you again.
Change is difficult. So go gently. Speak kindly to yourself. Embrace self care and find time for the things that light you up. The world needs your magic, it really does, so make sure you allow yourself the time to return to you.
FIND OUT MORE…
If you need a helping hand - and don’t we all sometimes - these are the resources I turn to when my tank is feeling a little empty:
FOLLOW: Find me on Instagram for my wellbeing and nutritional expertise. Social media can be a bit of a noisy old place but 2 accounts to follow immediately are my own personal coaches and mentors - @richienorton_ and @lucysheridan. I’m so blessed to work with these incredible humans and to call them friends. I have so much gratitude and love for both of them. They have literally changed my life - and I say that with no trace of drama, just pure fact. They are brilliant and magical and generous and I can’t imagine my life without them. Get on that follow button immediately and soak up all their light and wisdom, you won’t regret it.
APP WORTH TRYING: I still really love the Calm App. It’s been around a long time now but I love the convenience of having a wealth of peace right there in my pocket. I often turn to the bedtime stories and they definitely work because I’ve yet to hear the end of one!
THE BOOK YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: If I could only own one book - and believe me, this was a tough decision - it would have to be my childhood favourite: Winnie the Pooh. It’s all in there: Love, empathy, patience, gratitude, belief, simplicity, values. It’s a treasure trove of goodness. If you haven’t read it for a few decades it’s well worth a revisit. There’s so much good within those pages.